Woman jokes

Why are there no women in the NFL?

Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?

There was a woman sitting with me.

I had to leave until she pointed at something—it was my butt.

I was confused until it was her turn for truth or dare.

Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.

Why do women have periods?

Because they deserve them, haha!

There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!

Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.

69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120

58008 (flip calculator)

Boobless.

When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.

Stop the cap.

Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.

What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

I hope there are no women on here because they just aren't that funny.

9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.

For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.

That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.

A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.

Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.

Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.

"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.

"Why?" said her friend.

"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"

"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.

"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."

Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.