Woman jokes

Dear doctor,

I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly, Ray Palp

There was a woman sitting with me.

I had to leave until she pointed at something—it was my butt.

I was confused until it was her turn for truth or dare.

Why are there no women in the NFL?

Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?

Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.

Why do women have periods?

Because they deserve them, haha!

There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!

Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.

69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120

58008 (flip calculator)

Boobless.

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home. She said yes, so I took it.

When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.

Stop the cap.

I hope there are no women on here because they just aren't that funny.

Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.

What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

97 percent of women...

Haha, boob!

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.

Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.

Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.