When jokes
Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
Memes
Barney
When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸
You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
Answer: A chalkboard.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.