When jokes
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
When rejected:
That's ok, the 3 other little pigs said no, too.
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
Answer: A chalkboard.
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.