When jokes

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸

Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat, she made a whole species extinct.

Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.

My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.

When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)

What do emos like to do when they're sad?

They play violin on their wrists.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.

If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?

The brakes, you sick bastard.

What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?

"Sum ting wong."

When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.

Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"

I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."

What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

Predator 2.

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )

What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.

When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?

“Chip Chip Hooray!”