When jokes
Today, I had an exam in school. When I was done, I raised my hand and yelled, “Pisstiano Penaldo!”
My teacher smiled and took my paper. She knew I was finished.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
Memes
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )
When Kobe's pilot hit the mountain, he said, "Kobe."
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."