When jokes
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
"Sir, we noticed a 2-year gap in your resume."
"That was when I went to Yale."
"A Yale man? Well, you're hired!"
"Thanks! I really need this yob!"
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."