When jokes

What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.

What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?

Ask Boeing.

When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."

You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?

European.

Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"

Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"

The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"

Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."

The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."

What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?

A cold shoulder.

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest completely full of gold coins.

I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.

He had a change of race tho when he died.

You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.

What do emos like to do when they're sad?

They play violin on their wrists.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.

Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"

When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.

Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.

What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

Predator 2.

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )

Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.