When jokes
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
Memes
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."
Father: "Sorry."
What does a blind man say when he passes the fish market?...."Hello ladies!"
The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.
A joke becomes a dad joke when it leaves for milk and never comes back.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." 💀
British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
What do you call an orphan when there 18?
Homeless.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.