When jokes
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
My mom was 19 when she was pregnant with me, My mom was 39 when she was pregnant by me!!!
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."
Father: "Sorry."
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?
A cold shoulder.
What does a blind man say when he passes the fish market?...."Hello ladies!"
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
What do you call an orphan when there 18?
Homeless.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.