When jokes

Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.

What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?

The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.

What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?

Pokemon!

You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.

Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?

A: A cold shoulder.

What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?

My puns drive people nuts; this is usually when I bolt away.

What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?

A griffin.

Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.

This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because I’m a quiet kid and people act as if I’m so dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me, but now I’m just sick of them...

I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.

I be ready to commit suicide.

But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.

When you still there?

A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."

"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."

Your mama is so fat that when she ate a burger, she liked it.

What does a plug do when he's horny?

He jacks off!

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.

It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?