When jokes
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.
I was crying when my dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.
Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."
Father: "Sorry."
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?
A cold shoulder.
What does a blind man say when he passes the fish market?...."Hello ladies!"
The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"