When jokes
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
I was playing baseball with orphans, but when they hit a homerun, they had nowhere to go.
Yesterday, my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson, I said, "Just for that, you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen, she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try!"
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
When you are going back to where you live from a place that is a time zone behind where you live:
"Looks like I am going back to the future!"
Me when:
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
When you end up pregnant...
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂
When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.
I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.
Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.
I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.
Feel free to comment.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk home and walk?
Recently I visited a restaurant in Crotone. When I was done eating, I told the waitress I was “Penaldo” with my food. She instantly knew that I was finished with my food.
I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.