Temperature jokes
How do you measure a dog's temperature?
In barking grade!
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
Did you hear about Fridgetair
Kelvinator?
The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
why is it true
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
Why is a football stadium always so cold?
Answer: Because it has a lot of fans!
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
With their FIRE LYRICS!
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.
Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?
Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!
One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."
I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).
Why did the guy get the hose?
Because the girl was smoking hot.
It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.
Why does the sun get a lot of girls? Because it's hot.
Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?
Because it's on the burning side.