Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
we forge the chains we wear in life
Why do eight year old girls wear panties with flowers on? In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
Suicide isn't funny but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat
A woman was sitting alone at a bar and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sadly. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time she burst open her bedroom door and she said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand and a 12 inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants and came on your curtains. It's been fun!
This is not a joke have you ever thought about it you’re an emo while wearing black So what if you are black does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emails wear a black ;)
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
Why does fire man wear red suspenders? To hold his pants up
Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?
They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!
your a copycat from ballarat you smell like a rat, you wear a hat and you are shaped like a baseball bat.
song by john rizk
When I wear all black, I'm not emo. I'm a rainbow. 'Cause I'm wearing all the colors. #Science
You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.
Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted taxi
I always wear puma, put ma ballz in your mouth
You know why women wear tampons so the crabs could bungee jump
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
What kind of overalls does Mario wear? Denim-denim-denim!
When you wear a big hat and your but starts to splat diarrhea
