A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"
The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."
What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?
Pant suits.
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?
Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
What does a house wear?
A dress.
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
What kind of jeans do you wear to church?
Holy jeans!
Yo mama so fat, she wears Orion's belt!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
What shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
