Weapon jokes
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
American: I've never shot a gun.
African: That's the first coming from an American!
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says, "Who the fuck's been fucking my wife?" The room goes silent. The guy in the back finishes his beer and says, "You ain't got enough bullets."
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
one has a point.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades? They'll end up only throwing the pin.
Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.
What is Jesus' favorite gun?
A nail gun.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.
Damn, I love being a sniper.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."