Weapon jokes

What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?

Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.

A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.

One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.

What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?

They both squeal when you throw them.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD

If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.

I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.

Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?

Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.

What did Pepper say to Spray?

"Hey Spray, I'm Pepper, and I think we should fight crime!"

What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.

Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?

To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost.

So as they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun." And the man from New York said, "Bring me a gun as well!"

The guy was confused but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For the France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started shooting and laughing like a mad man and said. 3 men lived through this and one said to the others, "Well...sh!# that didn't go as planned."

When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.

By the way, have you seen my sister?

A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!

Why did everyone dislike Little Johnny at school?

'Cause he pierced everyone's livers with a .357 magnum.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

Q: What gun does Africa not have?

A: Water gun.

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Bum.

Bum who?

Bum holding a pistol!

What do you call an autistic kid with a minigun?

Special forces.