Weapon jokes

What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?

Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.

Russia went from N-95 to M-16 real quick...

Africa has every gun except for what?

A water gun.

Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?

Because homing missiles don’t work on them.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.

I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.

Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?

Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.

What did Pepper say to Spray?

"Hey Spray, I'm Pepper, and I think we should fight crime!"

Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?

To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.

What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost.

So as they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun." And the man from New York said, "Bring me a gun as well!"

The guy was confused but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For the France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started shooting and laughing like a mad man and said. 3 men lived through this and one said to the others, "Well...sh!# that didn't go as planned."

A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!

When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.

By the way, have you seen my sister?

What do you call an autistic kid with a minigun?

Special forces.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Bum.

Bum who?

Bum holding a pistol!

Q: What gun does Africa not have?

A: Water gun.

Why did everyone dislike Little Johnny at school?

'Cause he pierced everyone's livers with a .357 magnum.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer.