Combat jokes
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight each other?
Alien vs. Predator.
*Loud explosion inside the tank*
"Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
What do you call two Mexicans fighting? Juan on Juan.
What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"
What is your arm's favorite military branch? The army.
Don't make fun of the emo kid, or he's gonna bring his friends and you gotta fight the Suicide Squad.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*