Weapon jokes
What do you call a gay grenade?
A fragette.
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time it was sung... the line “fire away” caused massive confusion and shooting!
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
Do I like playing Russian Roulette? Gun to the head, I'd have to say no.
What does a terrorist get for Christmas?
A C4.
Me: I have an arrow in my head.
My friend: What's the point of that?
Me: Of the arrow?
Friend: No!
Me: Probably the flint.
How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?
Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
Know the nuclear bombs of the world.
🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb
🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”
🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb
🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing
🇮🇱🧨 what bomb
🇮🇷🧨 just self defence
There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.
So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.
This didn't actually happen.
"Hey man, what's that, a dynamite you have in your hand? Ok, well hold it over. I'll give it right back."
"Oh no, I won't!"
"Oh yes, you will!"
"Oh, I won't!"
"Oh yes, you will!"
"Ok fine, then you take it or I'll blow our your butt before it farts."
A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!
A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!