Defense

Defense Jokes

The judge asked Bill Cosby for his defense. He used feminist talking points and said "My body, my choice" and "It's my right to privacy." The judge, being impartial, let Cosby go.

I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent. And that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

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How do you becomes with Nato. Promise no more world wars, by secretely peforming miltiary practises behind their back

i always felt like a man trapped in a womans body. But then I was born.

But In my defense , I was young then and I had a womb without a view.

Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws? American: Self defense. Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?

A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy. The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!"