The judge asked Bill Cosby for his defense. He used feminist talking points and said "My body, my choice" and "It's my right to privacy." The judge, being impartial, let Cosby go.
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
officer, I drop-kicked that child in SELF-DEFENSE!
You gotta believe me!
What is the strongest weapon in india?
The red button (this is a fact)
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive
Why is American bad at clash of clans
Because they already lost 2 towers
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent. And that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!" Japan: "We are the ammo."
What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid
"Officer I dropped kicked that child in self defense." -Techno
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
somone was bullying stephen so i said why do you not stand up for your self
How do you becomes with Nato. Promise no more world wars, by secretely peforming miltiary practises behind their back
i always felt like a man trapped in a womans body. But then I was born.
But In my defense , I was young then and I had a womb without a view.
Suicide is just self defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws? American: Self defense. Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy. The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!"
A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding... ...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.
"My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."
The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'
They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'
Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...
Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."
She replied, emphatically,"No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"
Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"
