Defense jokes
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.
Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?
Because homing missiles don't work on them.
What does a computer scientist do when someone tries to fight him?
He waves his arms like a space invader.
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
It’s so sad because Stephen Hawking can’t even stand up for himself after all these mean jokes.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!
What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid.
"Florida was ranked the worst state in the 50 states by Thriller."
Florida: Well, WE didn't want to give our oranges anyway!
Your hairline recedes so far back that it defends your forehead.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
Why is American bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.
But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
Orphans are the best people to bully. They have no parents.
Why is America bad at Clash Royale?
Because they can't defend their towers.
In pixels and polygons, a virtual realm unfolds, A battleground where warriors gather, young and old. A game of wits and strategy, a dance of skill and might, Behold the phenomenon, the world of Fortnite.
What is Fortnite, you ask, this digital sensation? A realm where dreams are forged, in endless animation. A world of endless possibilities, where heroes rise and fall, A tapestry of triumph, where victory calls.
From humble beginnings, a storm begins to brew, A hundred souls drop down, with dreams anew. An island vast and varied, a landscape to explore, From verdant meadows to urban cities, the battles roar.
With pickaxe in hand, we gather resources with haste, Wood, metal, and stone, the foundation of our base. We build and we craft, constructing our fort, A fortress of defense, where enemies are fought.
The storm looms ever closer, a force we can't deny, Pushing us closer together, as time quickly flies. We strategize and plan, our tactics ever shifting, In this ever-shrinking world, our spirits uplifting.
Weapons and loot, scattered throughout the land, We arm ourselves with firepower, take our final stand. Shotguns, rifles, explosives, and more, In this game of survival, we even the score.
But Fortnite is more than just a battle royale, A canvas for creativity, where imaginations set sail. From creative mode to party royale, a world of endless fun, With friends and strangers, united as one.
Yet amidst the chaos, let's not forget, Fortnite is but a game, a virtual vignette. For beyond the pixels and the storms that rage, Lies a world that beckons, beyond the digital stage.
So let us embrace the joy that Fortnite brings, A tapestry of moments, where victory sings. For in this realm of pixels and dreams, Fortnite shines bright, a testament it seems.
So gather your friends, embark on this quest, In the realm of Fortnite, put your skills to the test. For in the end, it's not just about the game we play, But the bonds we form, as we dance and slay.
The judge asked Bill Cosby for his defense. He used feminist talking points and said "My body, my choice" and "It's my right to privacy." The judge, being impartial, let Cosby go.