Weapon jokes
A burglar breaks into the home of a weapons engineer. He wants to steal some of his weapons from his strictly secured chamber. When he breaks in through the window to go into his weapons cellar, he realizes that the inventor is at home and heard him from upstairs.
The burglar shouts, "Hands up, there is no escape!" The engineer shouts, "What do you want from me?" The thief answers impatiently, "Well, what do you think? I know what you're hiding here. Get me entry to your armory, right away!" "Never in my life will I do that!" The burglar pulls out his pistol, "Either you let me in, or you go for it!"
"Well, I'll give up, I'll give you my guns. Please don't shoot me." The burglar grins gleefully, "Thank you." "I even have a gun here that I've been working on lately. You can have it." The burglar then thinks and grunts, "Okay, before you open up, you'll show me this first!"
The inventor says, "It's shooting plasma. You can test it on one of my practice goals that I've made while I'm unlocking," and points to a side room where various dummies with targets are set up. The burglar walks into the room with the targets, focuses on the red dot in the middle of the disc, and pushes off. But the gun does not fire plasma or at the target. Instead, the gun fires a bullet at the burglar. This causes him to bleed to the ground.
The engineer behind him began to laugh, "Hahaha! I knew you were falling for it! This is not a plasma gun at all; this is my latest invention, especially for burglars like you: the backward-shooting pistol."
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a Glock aimed at you.
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
Know the nuclear bombs of the world.
🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb
🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”
🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb
🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing
🇮🇱🧨 what bomb
🇮🇷🧨 just self defence
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
I showed my girlfriend my taser. She was stunned.
Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.
I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Glock, glock.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
A friend of mine loves to play Roulette, so I decided to introduce him to Russian Roulette. It blew his mind.