Weapon jokes

There was an enemy with a machine gun.

My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."

So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.

Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.

So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.

This didn't actually happen.

"Hey man, what's that, a dynamite you have in your hand? Ok, well hold it over. I'll give it right back."

"Oh no, I won't!"

"Oh yes, you will!"

"Oh, I won't!"

"Oh yes, you will!"

"Ok fine, then you take it or I'll blow our your butt before it farts."

A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!

A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"

During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.

He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*

My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!

Slay.

Guns control.

American: I've never shot a gun.

African: That's the first coming from an American!

Why do you think China should have a baseball team?

They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.

Q: What gun does Africa not have?

A: A water gun.

A bullet is like an arrow.

Nothing can stop it from going through your head.

What does lmao launching missiles at orphanage mean?

I don't know, but it's messed up.

A fact! I think I'm officially a poo-buster, as the plunger does look like the weapon in "Ghostbusters"!

Yo mama is so fat, she got locked in a weapon store, and she broke it down without any weapons.

A knife is like hallucinations, both in your head.

Bullets.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a Glock aimed at you.

Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?

Did you know that big black dicks can be weapons and can kill people?

Floyd Mayweather proved it when he gave it to Logan Paul in the ass.