Weapon jokes
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
What do you call German weed?
Mustard Gas.
It was just a big hunter killer drone.
What's a bison's favorite gun?
A PP Bizon.
I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hair dryer.
Why did everyone dislike Little Johnny at school?
'Cause he pierced everyone's livers with a .357 magnum.
I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!
What's green and is dangerous?
Kermit with a flip knife.
Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.