Weapon jokes
How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!
What is the difference between a bag of chips and a gun?
If you pull one of them suddenly, everybody wants to be your friend.
What’s comes after 9 Millimeter?
What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?
They can't be way too loud.
What does a rifle and a microwave have in common?
They both go "Ping" when they are done.
I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.
"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
The greatest playwright in history found he couldn’t use lances. He could only use "Shake-spears."
Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.
Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!
What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?
A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!
I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com
If Jesus had a gun, what would it be? A nail gun.
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Vote for the better joke.
When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.
He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.
Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"
The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."
The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.
So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.