Weapon jokes

Why can't weapons play baseball?

Because they need to get to home base.

I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!

How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!

What is the difference between a bag of chips and a gun?

If you pull one of them suddenly, everybody wants to be your friend.

What’s comes after 9 Millimeter?

What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?

They can't be way too loud.

What does a rifle and a microwave have in common?

They both go "Ping" when they are done.

I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.

"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."

What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?

A baby with a javelin in its head!

What do you call a fish that can use a katana?

A salmon-rai.

The greatest playwright in history found he couldn’t use lances. He could only use "Shake-spears."

What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.

Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.

Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!

What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?

A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!

I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com

If Jesus had a gun, what would it be? A nail gun.

Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.

DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”

Vote for the better joke.

When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.