Weapon jokes
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds?
Because it's the average class size.
What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.
Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.
What can't a sniper say to his wife?
"I missed you."
Why did the emo trade his knife for a chainsaw?
- To win
"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
*Shotguns in a nutshell*
2B: MUST.
4B: ADD.
6B: MORE.
12B: *B A R R E L S*
*And that's how multi-barrel shotguns were made.*
DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel!
Lancaster: Are you sure about that?
DB: huh?
Lancaster: I have 4 barrels!
DB: WHAT!?
Penta Barrel: I got 5!
DB: *insert becoming uncanny*
Dual Hexagon shotgun: I got 12!
The others: HOW!?
*and that's how an argument started.*
AR-15: Who are you?
Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.