Weapon jokes

I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.

What is the difference between a feminist and a knife?

A knife at least has a point.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Answer: Special forces.

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Glock, glock.

Steps to win a Nerf war:

Step 1. Take out Nerf bullets.

Step 2. Load hollow points.

Step 3. Win!

The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.

What do you call autistic people with guns? Special forces.

What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?

They can't be way too loud.

When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.

What did the Deagle say to the G17?

"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."

AR-15: Who are you?

Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.

I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!

I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!

Why can't weapons play baseball?

Because they need to get to home base.

Making a comforting breakfast.

But you have a knife.

Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,

Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.

I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.

I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!