Weapon jokes
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds?
Because it's the average class size.
What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.
I threw my boomerang and now I live in constant fear.
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.
What can't a sniper say to his wife?
"I missed you."
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.
I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
Why can't weapons play baseball?
Because they need to get to home base.
I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!
*Shotguns in a nutshell*
2B: MUST.
4B: ADD.
6B: MORE.
12B: *B A R R E L S*
*And that's how multi-barrel shotguns were made.*
DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel!
Lancaster: Are you sure about that?
DB: huh?
Lancaster: I have 4 barrels!
DB: WHAT!?
Penta Barrel: I got 5!
DB: *insert becoming uncanny*
Dual Hexagon shotgun: I got 12!
The others: HOW!?
*and that's how an argument started.*
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."