Weapon jokes
What's brown and hurts your teeth? A chocolate? No. A baseball bat in my hands.
LMAO, what is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other's just a watermelon.
When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.
He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.
Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"
The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."
The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.
So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.
Who would you choose?
A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!
A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles don’t target them.
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
What do you call a disabled kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I had a gun, I'd shoot you.
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
A heartless killer.
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
My teacher told me, "You have no idea how powerful this quote is." I looked at her and told her, "You don't know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is."
Q: What gun does Africa not have?
A: A water gun.
Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!