Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian
Pistacio
We all know the joke: Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9 But do you know why 9 is scared of 7? Because you are supposed to eat 3 square meals a day. (3 squared)
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
If life gives you melons, you're proababli dyslexic
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?" Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?" Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
Chuck Norris once pissed in the rank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime
What weighs 5 oz and is very dangerous.
A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!
Sally fell off the swing. Sally has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine
I invented a new word today.
Plagiarism
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.