Pistacio

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Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian

We all know the joke: Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9 But do you know why 9 is scared of 7? Because you are supposed to eat 3 square meals a day. (3 squared)

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.

1

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?" Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?" Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."

Chuck Norris once pissed in the rank of a semi as a joke.

It is now known as Optimus Prime

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor