Rifle

Rifle Jokes

Sniper

I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.

Sniper

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.

Damn, I love being a sniper.

Covid

I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.

Grammar

Someone at school judged my grammar.

I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.

School Shooter

Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."

Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."

Classroom: *visible panic*

School

School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.

Hunter

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”

The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”

Hunter

One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.

Where are the others?

They're in his freezer.

Hunting

I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...

School

A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.

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  • Dot

    A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.

    He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"