Weapon jokes

School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.

I showed my girlfriend my taser. She was stunned.

Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart. I made sure it didn't outsmart me.

What's so special about bullets?

They do work after they are fired.

Q: What gun does Africa not have?

A: Water gun.

There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.

One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."

The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."

The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"

AR-15: Who are you?

Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.

If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???

American: I've never shot a gun.

African: That's the first coming from an American!

What is a gun that Africa doesn't have? A water gun.

Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.

Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?

"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."

How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..

With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌

If the noose breaks, stab yourself!

If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!

If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*

I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.

Q: What comes before 47?

A: AK

I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!

I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!

I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!

You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.

When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,

but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.

*Is honestly the best policy.*