Sword jokes
How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.
How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.
How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.
Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick.
The bartender asks him why.
And the pirate says:
"Argh, It's driving me nuts."
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer!
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
What's a pirate's favorite shop?
Arrrrrrrrgos.
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."
You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.
What did the Roman say to the gladiator?
See you later, gladiator.
Who’s the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?
Circumference.
Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?
Because he has ALL of the booty!
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
I've patched 1,000 roofs, and they don't call you Boris the roof patcher. I've built 100,000 swords and shields, and they don't call you Boris the blacksmith, but you fuck one goat!
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.