Weapon jokes
What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?
When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."
ble get get get gettttt pull the glock pew pew pew pew pew thats the silencer BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!
(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*
(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*
At this moment, he knew he fucked up.
I gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
Because he got fired!
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
I gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
My teacher told me, "You have no idea how powerful this quote is." I looked at her and told her, "You don't know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is."
The greatest playwright in history found he couldn’t use lances. He could only use "Shake-spears."