Weapon jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I had a gun, I'd shoot you.

A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

What do you call a country with nukes?

Abomination.

Guy feels something on his back.

“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”

“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”

I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"

What should you use to battle a T-Rex?

A dino-sword.

Q: What did I find on my son's search history?

A: Where is the nearest gun shop?

Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}

Q: Why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns?

A: Because knives don't have barrels.

What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?

C4.

I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.

What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?

I don’t have a life.

POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.

Bring out your weapons, people.

It's bullying time.

It was just a big hunter killer drone.

I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.

I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?

"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."