War jokes
"Osama bin Laden playing MW2 Air Strike inbound."
Why are Americans such good chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.
What do you call the Spanish translation of the 9th Star Wars movie?
Rogue Juan.
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
Where did Lucy go during the bombing? Everywhere.
God: Who ever kills Hitler will go to heaven.
Hitler: 👌👌👌👌
God: 😩😩😩😩
A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"
Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.
Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.