War jokes

What war did the black community win?

The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.

Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?

Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?

If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?

What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?

Finish a race.

When you think about it, Hitler wasn’t a bad person. He killed Hitler.

What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?

At least you don’t die when you shower.

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.

The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"

He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"

"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."

The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"

"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."

Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."

Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?

Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!

What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"

I told him, "Probably a bullet."

How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!

Nobody:

The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:

tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!

Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.