Invasion jokes
I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
What makes my life so unfair?
You invading it for no apparent reason.
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
Putin is so obsessed with territorial expansion, he’s even trying to annex your mama’s bedroom.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
Your face is so greasy that the USA is gonna invade you!
Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France?
Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance.
Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
Jo mama so fat that when aliens invaded earth, they said, "Wow, two in one!"
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.