War jokes
How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?
QUEUE THE MUSIC
BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
Iran: Prepare the FINAL SOLUTION.
Israel: And you'll be telling the whole world, "I-RAN AWAY!"
Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
WORLDWIDE RAP: Takin’ a Battery Park tour in Calgary, a Mali rapport and a factory in Lahore in an Annapolis store, Calgary's core, went to Nairobi’s floor and visited Valerie Moore, then bought some Shanghai decor and got salaries in Seoul’s war, studied the Vatican’s lore, wanted to see Manhattan’s allure and visit the Galilee shore to check Napoli’s score, a tragedy in Warsaw, Palmyra before, check out the cavalry corps, went to a Bali resort, a Madrid encore but had to take a Hackney detour.
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?
A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?
"Verdun for."
ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.
Head and Shoulders!
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.