War Jokes

America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.

My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.

Why'd I cum all over your mummy's panties? 'Cause she's hot af.

LOLOLOOLOLLOL

I am only here because me no like Blues Clues LGBTQ episode as I don’t believe in that. If you do, ok.

And it shouldn’t be a month, the month should be for all of the war veterans, it should be a day for pride. Companies only use this month for money; it’s exploitation because they don’t truly support, unlike me, in which I don’t support it.

Yo momma so fat that she was used as a tank in Putin's war.

A tweet that reads: "Burger King and Popeye's having a chicken sandwich war while being owned by the same parent company is the greatest real-life analogy for our modern American political parties."

9/10/01

Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”

Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.

Star Wars jokes:

Qui-Gon Chin, Mace Chindo, Chinbakka, Darth Chinious, Anachin Skywalker.

In the morning at 6:30 AM,

Teacher: Who fought in World War I?

Me: Trump & Biden.

Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.

After school,

Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.

"She looks at her clock."

Teacher: And now I am sewed.

What do call six gay men going in a war?

Rainbow Six Siege.

What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.

What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.

You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.

What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?

A war of nutrition.

Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.

I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.

They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.

Shit, if somebody invades America, the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go.

We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets has become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out?

Hell, the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit, Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have Comedy Central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the United States. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.