How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!
War Jokes
Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.
"If you can't win, lose."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
All go gansta until the two towers fall down on you.
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time it was sung... the line “fire away” caused massive confusion and shooting!
What was Osama bin Laden's favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
What is the worst thing that Nazis have done?
Adolf Hit-her.
What does a terrorist get for Christmas?
A C4.
When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"
My grandfather killed Hitler.
Get it? Get it?
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
What do you call an Israeli strike against Gaza?
A Kike Strike!
What's the different when a little boy drops in Japan then and now?
When a little boy falls today he gets back up. But then everyone fell and never came back up.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
WORLDWIDE RAP: Takin’ a Battery Park tour in Calgary, a Mali rapport and a factory in Lahore in an Annapolis store, Calgary's core, went to Nairobi’s floor and visited Valerie Moore, then bought some Shanghai decor and got salaries in Seoul’s war, studied the Vatican’s lore, wanted to see Manhattan’s allure and visit the Galilee shore to check Napoli’s score, a tragedy in Warsaw, Palmyra before, check out the cavalry corps, went to a Bali resort, a Madrid encore but had to take a Hackney detour.
Why will America always lose in chess?
It lost its two towers!
I'm going to bomb a little child (I'm an USA bomber).
What's the difference between an Al Qaeda Base and a Pakistani School?
"I don't know man, I just fly the drones."
What do you call a person who died in war?
Little Johnny.
