War jokes
The terrorists got a killstreak of 2,996; they are popping off, bro.
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?
They both drop.
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
Is it far enough? We publish interviews with people who know a lot about real wars.
Peace: On one case, that's true, but violence is the slogan for it.
Socialism: Yes, morning and evening. So the Sorce Streftator's work must be stopped!
Maoist: Yes, I like Walken Engspert.
Anarchist: Claire, this is why we don't need democracy, I'm Das Zoe Melsen.
Capitalism: Yes, but the truth is that he is ignorant and cannot be considered as an old leader, but as an employee.
Governor: Yes, but a strong left should be as strong as Minister Janomen Vardan or Director Januso Gavrelic.
Patriots: Are there simple megalithic laws?
Why did I kill?
Because I'm dumb.
Are you the Twin Towers?
Because I want to smash you.
My grandfather loves Hitler. They both had one ball.
Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!"
Soldier: "Let's clear the field!"
Officer: "Ok!"
*silence*
*explosion*
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
What do you call the Spanish translation of the 9th Star Wars movie?
Rogue Juan.
What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"
Why are Americans bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they’ve already lost 2 towers.
My great uncle died in a concentration camp.
He fell off one of the guard towers.
What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?
Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.
My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:
Allah hu akbar.
What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?
A mosque after a missile strike.
Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?
Because homing missiles don't work on them.
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they have already lost two towers.
Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...
*disconnected*