War jokes

Are you the Twin Towers?

Because I want to smash you.

My grandfather loves Hitler. They both had one ball.

Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!"

Soldier: "Let's clear the field!"

Officer: "Ok!"

*silence*

*explosion*

What do you call the Spanish translation of the 9th Star Wars movie?

Rogue Juan.

Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?

Because homing missiles don't work on them.

My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:

Allah hu akbar.

What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"

Why are Americans bad at Clash of Clans?

Because they’ve already lost 2 towers.

What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?

Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.

My great uncle died in a concentration camp.

He fell off one of the guard towers.

Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they have already lost two towers.

What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?

A mosque after a missile strike.

Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."

Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...

*disconnected*

Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."

Why were the Twin Towers sad?

They ordered Dominos and got Jets.

The Romans conquered Africa, they conquered Europe, they conquered Britain, then they stopped. They probably ran out of conkers.

If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?

That number is how many dicks you suck.

What do you call six gay people in a war? Rainbow Six Siege.

What do you call Hitler?

Gay.