Violence jokes
Did you hear about the bank robber?
Turns out he got shot by the police.
And he wound up in prison.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer; the other's just a watermelon. 😁😁
"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"
*School shooting happens* Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk* American student: "First time?"
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
I wanna fight Gwen!
Where did Sally go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?
Babies in a blender.
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
Rape humor is not funny. Like if you agree.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
Lil Johnny looked a lil bonny, but then when he saw Tommy, he decided to bomb me.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at 3 hoes.
what's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop up an onion.
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.