Violence jokes
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear.
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to 10 trees.
I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!
What do you do when you're bored?
I beat up orphans.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
My favorite sex position is the “JFK,” I splatter all over her as she screams to get out of the car 😂
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
What's red and white and goes 250 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender ;)
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.