Violence jokes
what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?
alien vs predator
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.
My dad raped my mom, now I have a brother.
Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
Why did the terrorists crash?
They were doing the job they loved but not getting paid.
Lol.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?
Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.