I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,
It's great being a sniper.
Violence Jokes
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,
but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.
*Is honestly the best policy.*
When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
My favorite sex position is the “JFK,” I splatter all over her as she screams to get out of the car 😂
What do you do when you're bored?
I beat up orphans.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
