Violence jokes

I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I’m all out of ass.

What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?

The school shooter will always spare you.

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,

but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.

*Is honestly the best policy.*

I took a special needs child to a shooting range.

Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.

A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.

Why do orphans have no bruises?

Because they have no dad to beat them.

How did the lesbian die? Homicide.

These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.

Want to know what I do in my freetime?

Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?

What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.

What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you told them twice.

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.

What would they do? Go to their family?

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Yo mama so fat, a bombing and 89 stories didn't kill her.

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,

It's great being a sniper.

What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?

I beat both of them.

I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?