Violence jokes
What is the best way to deal with bullies?
You shoot them.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I’m all out of ass.
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It’s not like they can tell their parents.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,
It's great being a sniper.
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?