Violence jokes
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have? 10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
Oh my god, she hit me with a bat,
'Cause she was transgender.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...
But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.
No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.
What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.
I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!
If you punch an orphan, they can't do anything; they can't tell their parents.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!