Violence

Violence jokes

Prayer

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

Orphan

I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Suicide

Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.

Orphan

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Sniper

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,

It's great being a sniper.

Shooter

What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?

One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.

Suicide

What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?

The school shooter will always spare you.

AK-47

When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,

but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.

*Is honestly the best policy.*

Shooter

When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!

Van

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

Eye

Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.