Violence jokes
Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.
What does lmao mean?
Launch Missiles at orphanage.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.