Violence jokes
What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
Are you George Floyd?
Cause you take my breath away! 😮💨
Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
What does lmao mean?
Launch Missiles at orphanage.
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.