Violence jokes

What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is just a watermelon.

Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?

A: Depends how hard you throw them.

I don’t like the term "rape," I prefer: "struggle snuggle."

I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled, "Hot wheels!"

"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."

What do you call a nine year old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?

Shot in the head.

A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?

A boner.

If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...

What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?

Ripping it off with a kick!

A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"

When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.

When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!

A guy walks into a mosque... then blows up.

I saw a person raping a woman in an alleyway. I decided to help...she doesn't stand a chance between us.