Violence jokes
A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."
I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
My gf told me she was pregnant, so I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me why the hell I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.
I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled, "Hot wheels!"
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
My therapist said time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
Why was the American kid late to school?
Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.