Violence jokes

I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."

A brunette fought and didn't get raped.

A blonde thought and did get raped.

What's red and screams when you shake it?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism

Raping white women should be encouraged everywhere!

When is rape normal?

When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.

Two boys are talking on the bus.

Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.

Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?

Boy 1: Oh, that's right.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."

So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.

What's better than throwing dead babes?

Catching them after with a pitchfork.

I love fire. My friends love it too. When I set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.

What does a baby in a blender look like?

I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.

Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.

Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!

My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.

Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?

The quiet kid: Splosion.

Teacher: What comes after A?

The quiet kid: AK-47.

Teacher: Faints.

What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!