Violence jokes
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer; the other one is just an orphan.
Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J!" Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter "go buy yourself something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice!" They both look at Craig as he pulls out a letter. Craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THEIR BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throws down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"
Guys, you know any best rape roleplay? (I'm a guy, btw.)
Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
There is a Mexican sitting on a train.
The guy sitting next to him says, "I have a big dick."
The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train, the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.
If you kill an orphan, would that count as a squad wipe?
The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
Well, at least the one I fucked did.
There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.
Violence is never the answer:
It's the solution.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.
Then I waited for the results.
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.