Violence jokes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.
What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head?
A bullet.
How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?
Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common? Shooting up schoolchildren.
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
Violence against women is funny :)
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.
My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him.
Now we wait.
Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J!" Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter "go buy yourself something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice!" They both look at Craig as he pulls out a letter. Craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THEIR BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throws down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"
Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? A. Depends how thin you slice them.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.