Violence jokes
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?
The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.
I hit my friend.
He's dead now.
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!
Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.
What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?
I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll f*ck your mom, and you'll be next.
When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.
When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.
When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.
When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
Q: Wanna see something funny?
A: Sure.
*bomb Florida*
How many babies does it take to paint a room red?
Depends how hard you throw 'em.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn red? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.
Bro, imagine shooting a school for autistic people.
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?
I guess he was a little deranged.