Violence jokes
What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?
I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!
Q: Wanna see something funny?
A: Sure.
*bomb Florida*
When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.
When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.
When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.
When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn red? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
Memes
How many babies does it take to paint a room red?
Depends how hard you throw 'em.
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
Bro, imagine shooting a school for autistic people.
If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.
Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?
I guess he was a little deranged.
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
Damn, the guy who made the "Whip/Nae Nae" song really made his cousin go Silento.
No, I don't want to fight, so I shall kill you (so we won't fight)!
Statistics show 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
What's the difference between football and rape? Women don't like football.
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
How do you make a trash can leak?
Hit it with an axe until it becomes part of the cosmos!