Violence jokes
Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."
What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?
They said, "Allahu Akbar."
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
"Suicide bomber kills 44 people in Pakistan mosque." Damn, that's a crazy K/D. He must be hacking.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,
It's great being a sniper.
Michelle Obama wanted more vegetables in school.
Rape: The only crime where you have to tell the victim they couldn't do anything even if they could run or say something, then after, are told rapists stop them doing something about it.
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
One of the students reported a school shooting. That fucking snitch...
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.
Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.
I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster.
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.
Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It’s not like they can tell their parents.
When your husband can’t afford a punching bag, he uses his wife.