Violence jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll f*ck your mom, and you'll be next.
What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?
I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!
Q: Wanna see something funny?
A: Sure.
*bomb Florida*
Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How many babies does it take to paint a room red?
Depends how hard you throw 'em.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn red? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!
Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.
Bro, imagine shooting a school for autistic people.
How do you make a trash can leak?
Hit it with an axe until it becomes part of the cosmos!
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
I took out my mother-in-law, being a sniper, I'd fun.
Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"