Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
Violence Jokes
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
Why couldn't the rape victim run away?
Because she was dead.
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Why did Sally fall out the window?
She was pushed.
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?
Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.
What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
What do you call anal rape?
Ass cream.
What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.
The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
