Violence jokes
Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.
I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?
A clout chaser.
Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.
Cut.
Memes
I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.
A baby seal walks into a club...
What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?
Kentucky Fried Children!
What's it called when you eat those same babies?
Finger Lickin' Good!
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What do you call a five year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?
... A boner.
How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?
Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"
Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.
Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”
What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A rape victim!
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
It's okay, you had socks on :)