Guitar Jokes

Why was the guitar teacher arrested?

For fingering a minor.

Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor

Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A Minor, and the other one plays guitar.

My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s jump at his funeral

What's a fish's least favorite instrument? A ClariNET!

A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"

Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?

A. Because he has excellent string theory.

I'm taking a taking a guitar lesson at school, my band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar, i Asked him if that was a fret

Why are pedofiles good at playing guitar?

Because they are good at fingering A minor

how do emo bands prepare for their shows?

They self-harmonize

What instrument do orphans play? The sax-alone

What do you call a autistic person playing a guitar?

Guarded.

I was at a concert, in the front row and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!". And I replied: "Is that a death fret?".