Guitar jokes
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
What do pedophiles and guitars have in common?
They both fingered A minor.
How do emo bands prepare for their shows?
They self-harmonize.
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?
You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
What do you call a fish and a guitar?
Tunafish.
What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can't tuna fish.
People's music when friends are around: *rock*
When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"
I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake!
Why don't fish play basketball?
Because they're scared of the net!
Why can't you play the guitar on a fish?
Because you can't tuna fish!
What do you call an American bee?
A USB!
What fruit likes to go down the slide?
Kiwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
That's all my jokes in mind, y'all!
What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
*guitar solo*
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor.
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"
And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"
What's the best finger for fingering A minor?
Me: Knock, knock. You: Who's there? Me: Music. You: Music who? Answer: A guitar is a violin without a stick.