Violence Jokes

What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?

“Here comes the airplane!”

A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"

Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"

Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.

I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

A colorful donkey pinata hangs from a tree, and the text "Fill a pinata with goat intestines to teach kids about the brutal consequences of violence" appears above it.

I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.

I punched my mom for no freaking reason.

I beat up my twin friends with a plane.

I kicked the shit out of Little Johnny.

Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.