Violence jokes

Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.

Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?

Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

Wipe his ass.

What do you call anal rape?

Ass cream.

What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.

Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?

Tj: Good... you?

Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!

Tj: 😏.

Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!

Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?

Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.

Tj: NO!!!!!!

1 day later.

Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩‍👧‍👦

Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.

The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"

How do you make a baby cry?

You run over it with a lawn mower.

School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.

What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?

“Here comes the airplane!”

A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"

Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"

Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.

I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.

I punched my mom for no freaking reason.

I beat up my twin friends with a plane.

I kicked the shit out of Little Johnny.

Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?