Violence jokes

What's the quickest way to get to a girl's heart?

What?

Chidori. :)

playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.

I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"

Here is a joke: Rape.

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

I must have raped a woman in a skip. She said she felt rubbish.

Sonic says if you're bored, go punch an orphan. I mean, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?

My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.

Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."

So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.

Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."

What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.

I once got raped. I was asking for it though.

We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...

Unless you're being raped by a clown.

Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.

Why are so many Americans stupid? Because they shoot the ones that go to school.

What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?

"It will be over soon."

Guess what song this is from:

"I'll cut you into little bitty pieces,

Or freeze you till your blood runs cold,

Or stab your till' you heart stops pumping.

I'm here to realize your wish from what I'm told."