Violence jokes
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
You just shot an unarmed man.
Well, he should have armed himself then.
Hello, anybody, I've just shot somebody. I did it on purpose.
Look, an orphan, let's go beat 'em up.
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.
Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
You walk into a room, and there’s a lot of people waiting in line to punch you... Yeah, that’s the punchline.
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
Dammit, I hanged off their nose off.