Violence jokes

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"

She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.

He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"

"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"

What do you call a swimming terrorist?

A bath bomb.

Dammit, I hanged off their nose off.

Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.

If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."

Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.

Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.

If you're bored, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What's the quickest way to get to a girl's heart?

What?

Chidori. :)

playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.

I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"

Here is a joke: Rape.

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

I must have raped a woman in a skip. She said she felt rubbish.

Sonic says if you're bored, go punch an orphan. I mean, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?