Me: What do you call a group of retards?
Friend: Down town?
Me: Nope, target practice.
Violence Jokes
Go commit neck rope.
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.
A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.
Why did Sally fall out the window?
She was pushed.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
So my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a ‘single’ joke. Then she said, "Go and f***ing die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF I will break his body for you. Happy now?"
She said, "Sniff, yes."
So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"
She said, "*sniff* yes."
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
A student got a bad letter grade, so the next day he came back with his own letter grade in his backpack: an A-K47.
My teacher told me, "You have no idea how powerful this quote is." I looked at her and told her, "You don't know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is."
A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.
