What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.
Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice.
When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
How did I kill Georgee?
I snatched her boat! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender.
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
Me: What do you call a group of retards?
Friend: Down town?
Me: Nope, target practice.
Go commit neck rope.
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
