I learned that a strangler was targeting me.
All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Alright, listen up, genius. See, the dude heard a strangler was after him, right? So he thinks, "You've got to be choking me!" Get it? Choking, like what a strangler does. And also like, "Are you serious?" which is what someone says when they can't believe something. You probably can't believe you are so dumb. You are probably too dumb to find your own butt with both hands.