Violence jokes
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.
There is a Mexican sitting on a train.
The guy sitting next to him says, "I have a big dick."
The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train, the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.
These nine kids were being bullied by these 10 guys in an alley. So, I thought I would help.
It was 9/11 all over again.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!
What turns red, blue then white? The last person that I'd strangle.
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
So, I met this girl and she was a 9 out of 10. I met this other girl who was 7 years old. The 7-year-old ate my 9 out of 10 girl because 7 was a psychopath.
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to 10 trees.
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
Where did Susie go after the bomb exploded?
Everywhere.
What's the POINT in stabbing people?
HAHAHA
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends how hard you throw them.
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!