Violence jokes
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What's bright red and screams when you shake it? A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Kid starts short-coming people in school. Teacher asks, "Why are you doing that?"
He responds, "I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas!"
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
A man asks a woman, "Are you a school?"
The woman replies, "No, why?"
The man says, "Oh, I wanted to shoot my kid inside of you."