Violence jokes
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"
The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"
The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"
The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the ground.
Goes to school with blue suppressed pistol. #1 Victory Royale!
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.