Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bum.
Bum who?
Bum holding a pistol!
Violence Jokes
I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.
"Rape is funny until it's your little sister or daughter getting raped."
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
Guys, you know any best rape roleplay? (I'm a guy, btw.)
What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?
... A boner.
So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.
Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"
And I said: "They're the exact same thing."
Then they said: "But when did it happen?"
So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"
Me: Hey, have you seen my butt?
Him: No, have you seen where it is?
Me: Maybe here on your private part hehe.
Him: *dumps my head on the toilet* HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS NOW, PERVERT?
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
What's America's no. 1 class?
Target practice.
What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"
What's the same with a controller and a woman?
They both work if you hit them.
How many kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
I'll break your bones, b*tch.
Did you know that big black dicks can be weapons and can kill people?
Floyd Mayweather proved it when he gave it to Logan Paul in the ass.
Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school.
The teacher asked why he had one. He said, "I need it to beat up the principal!"
When the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well, let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, You bend over, You're about to get fisted.
Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.
"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!
