Violence jokes
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?
Q: Wanna see something funny?
A: Sure.
*bomb Florida*
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
If you're bored, just punch an orphan!
What are they gonna do...tell their parents?
How many babies does it take to cover a brick wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it. 😆😂😁
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.
Then I waited for the results.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A RC-XD.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
If you give a man a match, he is warm for the night, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. :)
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
Yo mama so fat, a bombing and 89 stories didn't kill her.
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to ten trees.