Violence jokes
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.
Then I waited for the results.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A RC-XD.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
If you give a man a match, he is warm for the night, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. :)
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
Yo mama so fat, a bombing and 89 stories didn't kill her.
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to ten trees.
What is red and white and goes 200 mph?
A baby in a blender.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby, nailed to 10 trees.
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
Please don't get mad, it's a joke.
What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.
The boy was clapping, then he became clapped.
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....